As we all now, Christmas break has come and gone and we have now delved back into our everyday reality of early mornings and depending on coffee to keep us going throughout our days. I am only in my second week of my spring semester in college and boy, has it already been a long one. Between getting classes settled and figuring out how to actually have a social life, I’ve gone to bed every night utterly exhausted. It’s worth it because I’m determined to make this semester way better than the last one.
In order to start this transition into the “best semester ever,” I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone a lot within the last seven days I’ve been back. I tackled the Involvement Fair (which was so big they were handing out five paged map packets) all by myself and managed to get information from multiple clubs that I want to join. I trusted myself wholeheartedly and dropped a class that I knew I wasn’t ready for; which was for a major I’m not too sure I want to be in. I’ve been going to the gym every single day; if you were wondering, yes it’s just as boring and treacherous as it sounds. I asked my semi-friend (who is now an actual friend) to go to an event with me, which resulted in us staying out late and wishing that our campus had a pizza place open past 10pm on a Friday.
I had promised myself before this semester started that I would push myself to do things no matter how uncomfortable I felt. My goal is to join a club or two, so I’m dragging myself out of my room and into social situations whether I want to go or not; I know that if I don’t go then I’ll only come to loathe myself for weeks on end. And while being uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone is unpleasant and scary, it’s become a normal feeling to me. I know that I have to basically shove myself into situations that I want to be in or else I just won’t go. For instance, tonight I went to a general informational meeting for my college’s fashion magazine. I want to be a part of a publication so badly, so I obviously wanted to go. While I was putting on my PVRIS sweatshirt (I’m sick so I can look homeless, at least that’s my excuse), I suddenly didn’t want to go. I was scared. Honestly, if you were to ask me what I’m scared of, I couldn’t tell you. Maybe it’s talking to strangers or the fear of rejection, I don’t know. What I do know is that I let go of my unknown fear and just went to the meeting.
Tomorrow is my interview for the magazine and even though I may be afraid that I’m not talented enough to be accepted onto the staff, I’m going to walk in fearlessly and confidently because in the end, what do I have to lose? The worst that can happen is that they don’t accept me; but even then, I’ll be able to say that I went and I tried and that’s a great thing. Trying is the first step on the way to success.
I’ve also become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’ve realized that life isn’t exciting when you stay inside your little square of comfort. Yes, it’s familiar and cozy, but it’s not helping you grow. Adventure and opportunities are out there and they’re worth chasing, even if you feel like you’re running blindly towards them. If I’m being completely honest, I never know what I’m doing; I always feel like I’m running into a black abyss and I can never see where I’m headed. This used to paralyze me with fear because I couldn’t see my path, but now I’m starting to think that it’s okay to not know 100% what’s going to come your way. Instead of knowing, we can just take chances and make decisions as they come, after all, new ones pop up everyday.
If you’re trying to make a decision right now, whether it be to go to the club meeting or submit an application to your dream school or to start your own website, I say do it. Take a deep breathe and breathe out all your fears. Being uncomfortable is part of life and even though it’s anxiety filled at first, you’ll be glad you followed through with what you wanted to do, I promise.
So here’s to setting aside fears in order to do what you want and what will make you happy.
Until next time,